Can't help lovin' that man

Ego Nwodim, Heidi Gardner, Chloe Fineman, Emma Stone.

EXT. BOAT - DAY

EGO, HEIDI, CHLOE, and EMMA are standing on a steamboat. They are dressed in 50's vintage dresses in pastel colors.

ALL (sing to the melody of "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"):
Fish gotta swim, and birds gotta fly,
I gotta love one man 'til I die.
Can't help lovin' that man of mine.

The music stops. Ego shows off her engagement ring. Chloe and Emma ooh and aah over it.

HEIDI (sings):
Sarah, your ring is rather tiny.
Sorry he's poor and has no money,
but maybe he's the best you could do.

ALL (sing):
Tell me he's lazy, tell me he's slow.
Tell me I'm crazy, maybe I know.
Can't help lovin' that man of mine.

EMMA (sings):
Emily, don't act all high and mighty.
Everybody knows you give it up for free.
You should maybe sit this one out.

ALL (sing):
He can come home as late as can be.
Home without him ain't no home to me.
Can't help lovin' that man of mine.

CHLOE (sings):
Morgan, you got left by your baby daddy,
and recently confessed you have HPV.
You should maybe sit this out too.

The music cuts out.

EMMA (to Chloe):
You suck black [loud loon call]!

HEIDI (to Emma):
You watch your mouth, sister!

EMMA (to Heidi):
Bitch ass Jezebel who uses filters in her videos
and says, "Pick me, I'm not like the other hos",
don't fuck with me cuz you don't want none of this,
or I'm gonna tell everybody your dirty business,
then pray to God for forgiveness.
Frontin' about Christian values, when they're hittin' it from the back,
got fingered in the hotel lobby by all the MAGA married dads.
While you're sippin' mimosas in the Hamptons, let me spill that tea,
Why buy the cow when they all got that milk for free.

ALL (sing tensely):
Fish gotta swim, and birds gotta fly,
I gotta love one man 'til I die.
Can't help lovin' that man of mine.